And Behind Curtain Number 2...

I just read my daughter's blog, and it was so funny...all about random bits of information and crazy kitchen stories. I long for those normal ordinary events because I feel like my life is just one big drama these days...and that sounds like whining, which is something I have chosen NOT to do!



Jim now has his infusion port. I just love all the new medical jargon I am learning to use. He had to go into surgery to have it implanted, and he is doing remarkably well with it. He was also released from his surgeon. Jim was so excited and had a lot of outdoor plans for the weekend coming up that was supposed to be beautiful.



The day after that we went for what we thought would be his first dose of chemotherapy, but as it turned out, we just registered for more tests. Jim was so excited though because when the office tech asked him which arm to draw about 8 vials of blood, he said, "What do you mean? Arm? I got this fancy port for you to use." He was so glad he did not have to sacrifice his arm veins.



Monday we go for a PET scan, which is an overlay that will show where any other cancer cells may be hanging out. In preparation for the exam, Jim has to eat a diet on the day before the exam that consists of NO sugar or sugar substitutes, NO starches, and NO dairy. In addition, on Saturday AND Sunday, he is to refrain from any activity. In other words, he has to sit on his butt!



Now, if you do not think God has a sense of humor, let me help you re-think this. As I mentioned in the first of this blog, Jim was looking forward to working in the yard this weekend...the weekend before he starts chemotherapy. Not happening. And, usually on Saturdays, when I have to clean the house, I get really angry if Jim just sits on his butt and watches tv while I am sweating like a pig, cleaning up THE house. Today I just went about the cleaning with a smile on my face. I can't get mad at a man with THE CANCER, and God knows that!



I have been a basket case from the beginning of this journey. It has been a real act of faith to allow God to work in our lives. I have struggled with helping Him so often. I am learning as we go to keep myself out of the mix, and allow God to work in His own perfect timing.



Each time I've prayed about the situation, my peace has come from just resting in God, and knowing that He would be with us through this, but I have also had a sense that this was something we were going to go through.



I have to write that this next scan, the PET scan which is a very defining scan, has not scared me. I have a sweeter peace about it, going in to it. I recall the passage in the Bible where the man just sends word to Jesus that if Jesus will just say the words, he knows his daughter will be healed. That man believed so strongly, and Jesus did heal his little girl, so that God could be glorified because it was an act that could not have happened unless God did it. That is my prayer for Jim and this test. I truly believe that this is an opportunity for God to receive all of the Glory...that test can show that there is NO evidence of cancer anywhere. And, the only explanation for it would be that God removed it. I am trusting in my gracious, ominipotent, healing God to do what is best, and I am trusting Him to continue to walk with Jim and me.



Behind curtain #2? I don't know, but I'm not afraid to look!