Thoughts of the Day

It is cold outside, but not enough to bring any frozen precipitation. And, I really want some snow...It's just not a complete school year without a "snow day."

Jim's stomach bothered him today. He is so tired of this "war" with cancer. He's not giving up; it's not that kind of tired, but he's just so frustrated that he is having to battle it so long. It's "only" been a year, but we just never expected it to take a year. We thought he'd be through as soon as I was. Anyway, he took a pill, we ate some Taco Soup, and he is feeling better.

I had a rough day at school. I'm not sure how to deal with rude teenagers. When they have issues at home, struggling with self-worth issues, or trying to overcome academic frustrations, I can accept the behaviors that accompany those issues. But when teenagers have a warm home, loving parents, food, clothes, and every possible need fulfilled, I cannot for the life of me understand why they laugh in my face, refuse to follow directions, and show such disrespect for their peers. I just have a difficult time seeing past their actions.

I work with an amazing young teacher. God has blessed me in that I have had the chance to really work with him as a team. Tyler is thoughtful, creative, and caring. He has ignited the teaching fire that has always burned in my heart and soul. Thank you, Tyler.

I have an amazing family. My girls are precious. They each have such special abilities...Emily is a gourmet cook; she is a fantastic mother of a teenage son (even though she and her husband, Jon, did go about the family things backwards); she is super-organized and creative...and uses those gifts in a remarkable fashion at her job, and she is an amazing writer.

Jessica is funny; she has an eye for cool things at special prices; she can also cook a wonderful meal; she is handy with the tools and doesn't blink an eye at any home improvement project; she is pregnant and is taking it like a trooper...she hasn't been sick, just hungry; she is also an excellent writer, and finally, she's a good friend.

My sons-in-law are amazing too. Jim and I lucked out on getting 2 great men. Jon loves Emily with all his heart, and Scott loves Jessica with all of his. They complement each other; and they love Jim and me. We could not have asked for any better guys!

Dennis, my teenage grandson, is a creative artist, a comedian, a singer of random tunes (he can sound just like the school band), and is a great help around the house. He IS a teenager, which carries baggage of its own accord, but overall, he gets the award for being the BEST teenage grandson!

Well, I've rambled enough tonight. I'm going to curl up in my rocker with my flannel pj's and hope to wake up in the morning to a yard full of snow!

Can We Get a Tail Wind?

Everyone asks me how Jim is doing, and then they proceed to tell me how their friend was treated or cured. then they question and want to know our progress. I'm sitting in the hospital room while Jim recoups from his latest chemo-embolization treatment, and I've had another epiphany. This journey with cancer can be compared to airline flights.

Some trips are direct flights. And, even though there may be delays for various reasons,the trip is relatively quick. So it is with some cancers...mine for example. The discovery, surgery, radiation, chemotheraphy, and healing took about 8 months, and I've been declared "cancer free."

Then there's Jim. For him, his destination is Maui, Hawaii, and he will be taking a flight that requires many connections. It is a long, difficult flight with turbulence, delays, re-routes,and fear of flying over a large amount of water.

Our radiologist told us today that we are "technically, ahead of schedule." But, when we asked if the tumors had shrunk, or if the procedures were working, we learned that it is too soon to tell. We must continue the journey, trusting that the procedures are working, and thank our God that we are "ahead of schedule."

The way I figure it, we have made a connection from home to Dallas. Then we had a lay-over, and got on a flight to Houston. We arrived there in record time. And, now we are heading to LAX. With any grace, we'll make it there with no delays, re-routes, o "situations." Then we'll board the plane to cross that big Atlantic, and arrive at our desination...Maui.

You see, we are having to go where the Lord leads us, trusting Him every step. We do not see the Promised Land ahead, but we have arrived safely on the ground with this latest treatment. This journey is not easy; it is not fast; and it is not without the knoeldge that it may take a different route. WE JUST TRUST in the MIGHTY knowledge that our God is in control, and that HE loves us So Very Much!

And, who knows, maybe on this next leg, well catch another tail wind and get to our destination much faster. Aloha!

Two New Inventions

I am a marketer's dream. I'll listen to anything, take it for the truth and try it out. Most of the time, I am so disappointed. There are not many new-fangled things out there that actually live up to their hype. However, in the past year, two products have definitely lived up to my expectations. The first one is "Color Catcher." Those sheets are amazing. I've been really brave, putting a bright red sweatshirt (brand new) with a crisp white long sleeve blouse. The colors stay put. I've also put a white shirt with green, red, and yellow piping that had run onto the white part in the wash with one of those magnificent little sheets, and the colors separated and went back where they belonged.

The other amazing item is a product is one I just purchased. It is for the commode. You use a cylinder pump to apply a "dollop" of cleaning gel onto the inside rim of the potty. Every time you flush, some of the gel washes around the commode and cleans it fantastically. The fresh smell it emits is wonderful also. Can't remember the exact name!

I must say I was terribly disappointed in the Sensodyne toothpaste that is supposed to make a super foaming agent the minute the toothpaste hits your mouth. It is no better than the regular toothpaste, but the cost is a lot more. It will be the last canister I purchase.

I'm ready to go back to school. I'm not quite prepared, but I'll get there after spending all afternoon on Sunday getting prepared. It will be good to see my kiddos again. I've got some great reading and writing ideas to share with them.

Jim and I are waiting patiently for his doctors to plan the second procedure to rid his body of this cancer. The first procedure was successful. We are praying that this second procedure will knock it completely out!

Randominities

I'm sitting in my easy chair, watching tv, blogging, and enjoying the 21st century convenience of central heat. I haven't experienced this since I was a teenager living at home. Jim and I had central heat and air put in last week. For the last 26 years we've had a wall heater that we would have a contest with to see how far into the winter season we could stand it before we lit it. The latest we ever went was Nov. 30. During the last few years, we've just held our breath that the thing didn't blow up. It would make a gigantic KA-BOOM each time it would come on; then it would rev up like a jet taking off. The immediate are around the heater would get extremely hot while the rest of the house stayed just this side of chilled. We made it, but this Central AC is so much better.

After 30+ years of teaching, I wonder if I'm losing my edge. I can still motivate most of my students, but the ones that aren't motivated seem harder to encourage. Wish i knew what to do. I want to lose no one, but I have a couple of students that seem determined to fail, no matter what I do. Some days I just want to give up, and then I go home, get a good night's sleep, and think the next morning that I WILL be successful. I wish I could find the right connection.

Jim goes into the hospital for a different treatment for his cancer in the liver. This time they will go in through his leg, feed a tube into his tumors in his liver, and "drown" the tumors in chemo. He'll be in the hospital for anywhere from 24-48 hours. They have told him he'll be in a lot of pain and will be extremely nauseated. He'll be connected to a pain pump, but we are still somewhat apprehensive.We just pray that this treatment will kill the cancer. We'd sure like to be through with this adventure.We have learned to take every day as a blessing, and have learned to live one day at a time.

I am looking forward to a Watts family Thanksgiving. It's possible I'll have both daughters, both sons-in-law, my grandson, and Jim and me for the festivities. i'm looking forward to some "fall" cleaning, as we go through some keepsake boxes and make room for other stuff. Just being with my girls, will make for a happy time.

In another life...

I have this theory. It came to me as I drove Jim to Cracker Barrel Saturday for breakfast. It's about Jim's chemotherapy success. If my theory is correct, maybe I should quit teaching and go back to school to become a doctor. Or, maybe I was one in another life. Anyway, before Jim got sick, he never took medicine. He wouldn't even take Advil or Tylenol for a headache. He'd just wait it out...not that he had very many headaches. The only drug he took was his "chill" pill (Celexa).

So, when he had his first round of chemotherapy, the drugs were extremely successful. Jim did not even take his chill pill. After 7 treatments, the cancer had really begun to shrink. After the 12th treatment, the tumors could be counted (4 as opposed to numerous), but were not small enough.

Second round of chemotherapy with a different concoction. After treatment #7 (really #19), there is no evidence of cancer anywhere else in his body, and the 4 tumors have not increased, but they have not shrunk either. And, throughout this whole ordeal, our oncologist has been amazed that Jim's liver has never shown any signs of distress. It must be one heck of an organ!

Here's my theory: Since Jim's liver is working so well, and since the first treatment was with very few "extra" drugs, the liver was able to devote its whole efforts to the chemotherapy. Over the next few months, because Jim had to take anti-nausea medicine, extra steroids, and nerve relaxants to withstand the chemotherapy effects, the liver had to devote some of its power to process those drugs, making the chemotherapy not as effective. The fact that it is keeping the cancer contained, and not letting it grow or multiply is positive. It is just taking longer to do its job.

I'm not sure why this idea came to me; it might could even be proved incorrect, but it makes Jim and I feel better about the process. So, we'll hold onto it for a while.

Please, oh, Please...Let US READ!

Ah, another Friday. Today at school with my 8th graders who also were also my 7th graders last year, we had so much to do. We NEEDED to review parts of speech; we NEEDED to have peer conferences about our first authentic writings; we NEEDED to go over the Blog page we were going to use. But, my precious charges whined, "Mrs. W. PLEASE let us have a reading day. Okay, they twisted my arm. It was the guys turn to grab a blanket, a pillow, a mushroom chair, and make their "nest" on the floor. After a two-minute warning, we all settled it with a good book. Some were reading about vampires; others were reading about their favorite sports figure; some had mysteries and horror stories. We all curled up (yes, these are 13 and 14 year-olds) and just "bathed" in the quiet of the room. It seemed like the the entire world had been sucked into this 20 X 20 space, along with the myriad of characters. It was one of those days when i just wanted to take a picture, and freeze the moment. I made my nest right in the middle of them and read Tales from Outer Suburbia by Shaun Tan.

Now, my weekend has begun, and again, though I planned to come home and either pay bills or clean house, I just sat down and relaxed beside Jim. He is on #11 chemo treatment. It just feels right to be still while he has to be still.

Tomorrow I'll rise and shine, clean the house, and pay the bills, and give God the glory, glory!
I hope this weekend doesn't seem to slip away like the last one did.

24 More Hours PLEASE

There is just not enough weekend! I took Friday night and Saturday morning to recoup from the week's work. I'm having the best school year in many years, thanks to a young "whippersnapper" of a teacher who could easily be my son. He is amazing, and has the same ideology about teaching as I have. But, we spend many hours planning our weekly lessons, modifying them when adjustments are in order, and reflecting on them at the end of the week. This 56-year old teacher-veteran of 34 years ends up worn out!

I actually slept until 9:30 on Saturday. Then after a deliciously relaxed breakfast with Jim at Cracker Barrel, we decided to go to an antique car and motorcycle festival and BBQ cook-off. Just milling around the old vehicles with Jim was fun.

Afterwards though, both Jim and I were too tired to do anything constructive (like getting the house cleaned and organized for the new week). So, we just came home and chilled.

Sunday was special because we were with our brothers and sisters, worshipping and celebrating God's NEVERTHELESS kind of love and mercy, and Jessica and Scott were able to come and visit. I fixed a new gormet recipe for lunch.

Jim and I went to school after the kids left, and Jim repaired a bookcase in my classroom that completely fell apart during classes one day a couple of weeks ago. While he hammered, I finished my part of the lessons that my young "whippersnapper" co-worker and I needed for this week.

And now, i am writing this diary (laundry list) of the contents of my weekend. I wish had something poetic to say, but my words just seem necessary and informational...I think I will go to bed.